The Dreaded T Word

TEETHING.

SomeEcards- Teething

I think it is the most despised, feared, and exhausting part of raising a kiddo. Did I mention despised? I did? Well I will say it again- DESPISED.

You know, starting out after labor and delivery, I was CONVINCED I was going to die of exhaustion with this new, tiny, adorable, and needy little human screaming at me every few minutes (okay…every couple hours) until I pulled a boob out. I was CONVINCED I would die of starvation because I was constantly feeding the new, tiny, adorable, and needy little human while rarely finding a grape or peanut for myself. I was CONVINCED I would die of being smelly because I felt like I never got a free second to shower.

Looking back, those days were a piece of cake. Delicious, yummy, cake.

Fast forward to about 4 months old…early teething sets in. Okay, we can handle this. We have PLENTY of things for this not-so-new, still tiny, even more adorable, and still needy little human to chew on. My finger? Sure! The dog’s rubber ball? Sure! (Oh wait..that wasn’t the best choice you say? Give me your address and I’ll send this little human to your house!) My toe? Um…sure…wait, no..this is weird…stop little human!

Fast forward to 8 months…STILL NO TEETH! What the heck!? Is this a joke? Is our kid normal? Are there even teeth in there!?!?! It seriously had to be a joke when the pediatrician said some babies don’t get a tooth until 12 months or more…so NOT funny. I’m running out of things for this not-new-anymore, much bigger, still super adorable, but SO GROUCHY little human to chew on. I swear these teeth will just pop up in the next day or so….they have to. All I can say is THANK YOU for teething necklaces and teething toys.

Fast forward to now…10.5 months. FINALLY the 1st tooth has appeared and punctured those tiny little gums. Now, this one tiny little tooth…was the cause of so much misery in this household that I seriously thought we had fallen to the depths of hell and we would never find our way back to earth. Yes, it WAS that bad. And side note, this was all while using a Baltic amber necklace…I have had nightmares about if we hadn’t ordered it…terrifying.

We are now working on pushing that second, tiny, demonic white thing through the gummy surface of our 10.5 month old girl’s mouth. Have I mentioned how much I have PRAYED for teeth? Yes, I pray for teeth- that makes me sound insane, I hear it now…no need to mention it…

If our girl wasn’t so cute when she isn’t screaming, throwing her entire body back in a temper, throwing toys, gnawing her toys down to nubs, or refusing to sleep for any length of time…I may have sent her to Shawnee Acres already (this isn’t a real place- I promise…it is a long told story in my family about good girls and boys who are naughty…they get sent to live at Shawnee Acres!)

So fellow parents, know you are not alone in this fight with tiny teeth. One day, we will come out victorious….once all the teeth come in. Until then, call me for a margarita date…I need it and you probably do too. :)

dorian@crunchyontheweekend